Travelogue Canada 7: Wales (Halloween)

October 2009


the day started as every day should – was woken with a “don’t ask questions, just follow me” (barry)… and was led to the kitchen where a full fry-up was waiting! even though it was a heart-stoppingly early 09h30 (which is super-early considering sleep depro the night before and that night’s extended slumber party antics with me and JM giggling like schoolgirls til 3 in the morning) was still an XL YAY! :o)

all fuelled and ready for action, we headed off to town to do the last minute shopping for Halloween, namely costume accessories, pumpkins and a few odds and sods for our dinner feast. mission accomplished, we retired to McD’s for a hearty lunch of a Big Tasty With Bacon (100% Beef patty, streaky bacon, a slice of cheese made from Emmental, onion, juicy tomato, crisp lettuce and Big Tasty sauce – which is sort of like a smoked version of the sauce on the Big Mac – in a sesame seed bun) with POTATO WEDGES with sour cream and chive dip! total awesomeness! mcflurry’s for pudding – with cadbury’s dairy milk caramels oooo!

spent the afternoon around the kitchen table, laughing, giggling, catching up, dying hair, making jack-o-lanterns, decorating the house (with orange spray paint and stensils, plastic bats, fake cobwebs and plastic tombstones) and generally having a grand old time.

was the usual rush to get ready, even though we’d had the whole afternoon to do it. it was all a hubbub of getting costumes on (me morticia, emm vampira, barry a vampire, john the templar knight), applying facepaint for each other, smearing eyeshadow all over the show and (the other 3) putting in wicked costume contact lenses. we were supposed to be out at 5, we eventually left about 5.40. oops.

so, we get to the party the better part of an hour late. and we’re the only grown-ups in costume!! the guy emm works with that had invited us to the party had told emm everyone dresses up, omitting that he meant all the CHILDREN dress up! we felt a bit arse… but was all part of the fun in the end (and the party came to a rather abrupt end about 20 minutes later when, after a short fire-dancing and fireworks display, everyone just packed up and left). the never-say-die people we are, we just adjourned to the pub (The Greyhound, B&E’s local).

2 pints and 2 tequilas down – having been treated to a class joke (john was in a knight’s templar outfit, so one of the locals saw the Maltese Cross insignia emblazonned on the cape and said “how do you make a maltese cross? poke him”. it was funnier when john caught it about 10 minutes later than it was when the local told it though! teehee), watched the kids breakdance, done a modelling shoot in the bathroom using the handdrier for effect – we headed for home to get us fed and Griff to bed. sumptuous dinner of steak tartare and raw salmon (let me hear you say ‘es ki mo’ – see previous travelogue), nachos and sour cream – all washed down with delightful red and to the dulcet beat Shnee Wurt Schnit Shnee Wizey Wize (yes THE SWSSWW that b has been looking for for over half a lifetime!! … which emm also loved in the day… and which i never would have guessed was the song it turned out to be, which i recognise but would never have fitted barry’s fantasy lyrics to!) – and it was bedtime for B&E and back to the pub for J and me.

by the time we got back (about 10 maybe), the pub was more festive and there were at least a few more people in costume. one such being an ‘attractive blonde girl’ that john spotted across the bar and thought had potential, what with her lithe frame and shortshort hotpants… until we got closer and saw the adam’s apple and hairy legs through ‘her’ stockings. we’re still not convinced it was a halloween costume. there were also a fair number of slapper type chicks that i could have sworn were fancy-dressed as pumpkins, but i’m told the tanning salon craze has hit here in a big way. it’s crazy, they’re all orange. orangeorange. like nowhere near natural tan colour. and not – soso very not – attractive.

we made quite an impression on the barman seeing as we ordered tequilas with every round, which is a rarity in these parts apparently. he started pouring us half tots since their standard tot glasses are doubles, until john goaded him into giving us full tot glasses (still at singles prices). eventually the poor man was just pouring for us freehand into halfpint glasses… and having one himself! funfunfun. we calculated 8 pints (and who knows how much tequila seeing as there was no standard measure), which would explain why the details of the walk home (yes, i said WALK home) are a little blurry. we must, however, have decided quite spur of the moment to leave for home seeing as we both brought our glasses home and there was still a considerable amount in them this morning. hmmm…

this morning B&E had to mission in to town as there had been a little mishap with griff spilling water on the tv, killing it dead. while they went to get a new one, me and John walked (yes, there’s that word again) to the corner store (called the Red Shop by emm, have yet to ask why) where i found some of life’s simple pleasures and some great mysteries:
– pringles cheese and onion
– Aero instant hot chocolate sachets
– thick slice bread
– mince with onions and gravy in a can
– All Day Breakfast in a can: sausage, bacon, egg nuggets (intriguing), beans in tomato sauce, cereal (WTF?!) and chopped pork (if it’s not sausage or bacon then what is it?!)

humour restored, i dutifully watched john make omelettes (well sort of, was tres busy with uploading pics from last night) with cheese, ham, onion and bacon. genius, pure genius!

spent the rest of the day much like yesterday, just enjoying the pleasure of each others’ company. we had some really classic moments too. like when john was making comment about my growing mound of clothing starting to impede access to our room and said that we could never live together, expressing very matter-of-factly, with much gusto that he ‘really likes an anal cleaner’. of course, i had no choice but to reply with ‘why? does your anus get THAT dirty?’ … the whole episode cueing all sorts of offers from barry for his plunger to sort out emma’s plumbing in the tradesman’s entrance etc etc etc. hearty guffaws all round and we’ve replayed the joke every which way all day and it’s still as funny as the first time. we’ve had a very non-PC day, but sososo much fun!

tried to get some salt marsh lamb on the way to drop john off at the station, but alas we were too late and the shop had shut. sad to see john off, but not terrible as he’s due home in a few weeks so it’s a literal ‘bye for now’.

back to the kitchen table, Hobgoblins for me, a bottle of red for emm, superlative company for barry, a wheel of camembert with water biscuits (which are completely tasteless but i’m told take more calories to chew than the calories you take in by eating them), ham sarmies (with real butter and mayo) and more chatchatchatlaughlaughlaugh (and some teeter-tottering around in emm’s oh-so-beautiful-but-the-most-ridiculously-uncomfortable-shoes-EVER-made super-too-high-and-then-some emerald green sequined heels).

am loving these peeps and every minute here!! :o)