Tag Archives: London

Travelogue Canada 5: London

LONDON

3-5 November 2009

Nabbed a nap on the train from Wales to London – helped that we got one of those double seats that face each other with the table in middle. Light snack of roast ox kettle-fried chips, quavers (Chipnik style cheese chips) and a rocking tomato juice that was all spicy ‘n stuff and BEGGING for a splash of vodka!

Deftly maneuvered the undergrounds to get to Balham (no mean feat since Barry’s new cruise mode is 30 miles an hour, which is 50km an hour… and I now do ‘whoosh’ sounds and motions to anything faster *warning to new party car drivers!!*) and a short walk later were presenting ourselves at Lix and RoRo’s door! And Faye had missioned through for a sleepover so it was reunionreunion! Cuddles, giggles, excited chatter… and a glass of red!

Lix made a superlative Chicken a la King with rice and deep fried chicken skin bits (GENIUS!). I had brought a bottle of Jagermeister. Barry had sorted bottles of red. There were cameras clicking and flashing and the usual random assortment of (mostly non-PC) conversation topics, catch-ups on who’s been doing what (no movement left unturned, no matter how seemingly small or insignificant just in case it had bearing somewheresomehow, who’s seen who and what they’ve been up to and much general merriment! :o)

One by one, people filtered to bed. Except me and faye – seasoned experience at slumber-party giggling and serendipitously surrendering to adjoining couches.

WEDNESDAY

Woke up at some ridiculous hour (like 4 maybe?) with a dire need for a kilolitre of water. En route to the water bottle in the back of the fridge I stumbled across leftover roast pork, so I felt obliged to make sandwiches (god bless Kingsmill bread- still the best ever) for me and Faye. I think I may have saved 2 young lives (and by that I mean mine and Faye’s).

In no time at all, the house was awake and in relay doing tea, toast, showering, the odd bit of ironing etc etc. Saw everyone off: Barry headed for the tubes, Lix and Faye cycle to work. Yes, really.

Me and RoRoRo (did I mention that I gave him a gratuitous Ro from a middle name I’ve never wanted and could never escape?) did something that very few Londoners have ever done – we traversed the city.

From south west to north east to get Faye a clean set of clothes. Totally my fault <ie: took me minutes to convince her to stay and L&R the rest of the week based on first night’s dinner and promise of confirmed menu for night 2 and 3, on the proviso that I/we would trek the length of London to get enough mix-and-match workwear to make said slumber party practical). ended up being a 3 hour round trip, with a 5 minute packing at Faye’s house respite in between… oh ja, and Burger King at Liverpool Station (dbl cheese and bacon whoppers, chips and coke each, 7 chicken nuggets and 4 chilli bites to share).

Got back in time to watch Lix make dinner. Lordylordylordy. Roast salt marsh lamb, mash taters, cauli cheese, carrots, roasted shallots, garlic and brown onion gravy. G-sus. More chats around the table and then retired to Couchville for sitcom marathon. Nice.

THURSDAY

Finally the stupid body clock works for me. Sat at the table while everyone missioned around me doing the usual ironing, breakfast, head-holding, work-hating, why-can’t-we-be-rich-and-retire-now-ing etc… and then napped on the couch snuggled in purple fleece blankie and sleeping bag for an hour… to be up and fresh and head onto high street to find elusive ‘cheaper’ dry cleaner for B’s dry-cleanables, then grocery shop (too many undiscovered canned pleasures to mention), hit Subway (ham, salami, pepperoni, cheese, lettuce, tomato, jalapeno, sweet onion sauce and ranch sauce on cheese and herb italian bread) and BACK TO THE COUCH *bliss*

The kids came home and we feasted on Welsh black beef sirloin steaks, baked taters with butter and cheese, ciabatta and caramelised red onion… and then off to Bonfire Night (which I think is a sad sell-out to the infinitely more marketably-cos-more-opportunity-for-lewd-jokes Guy Fawkes) for very lovely fireworks. stopped at Threshers en route of course and almost missed everything for 4 Fosters, 4 Carlings and some Bulmers cider. nonetheless, we’re blessed folk and got there in time for a manageable amount of chinese-badly-marketed (ask Alex for details) pyrotechnics. enough for me finally to get (bad) photos of us with fireworky things (that largely look like dysfunctional hats!).

We got home, finished the Jager, had midnight snacks, chatted and laughed, laughed and chatted, commented inappropriately on FB stuff, sent the odd (both sense of the word) SMS to home… and photos of course.

Taking an ad break. Stay tuned for the next adventure in Preston.

Travelogue St Louis 2: London – St Louis

April 2008

Sooo…. it’s been quite a week in St Louis since Travelogue I. They’ve actually had me <gasp> working. Gggrrr. To make matters worse, there was a dark patch from bedtime on Tuesday (later than I care to remember, but late enough that I’m constantly getting thooose impression-inspired reminders!) to lunchtime on Thursday where there was no computer time at all. I KNOW!!! Can’t remember the last time I was offline for that long!!

Now, where were we? … Mmmm…. at Faye’s lounging and slothing.

Post watching bubblegum horror film, having a superlative daytime nap (which NEVER happens) and much-needed showers all round, we headed off for Lix and RoRo’s place. Plan A (some schmancy restauranty thing) had been fraught with too many possible temptations for our resident Athlete – who we all know would have been led down the evil path by us, being Satan’s children wildly and freely wherever we can as we do <throaty> hahaha – so we cast aside all idea of going out into public and headed for Plan B – the ‘burbs. What a marvy idea!

Lix outdid herself with ridiculously juicy and tender chicken Schnitzels, with the most scrumptious mushroomy garlicky white winey sauce. Which we made her make twice ‘cos it’s one of those things where you just. Can’t. Get. Enough!! Gggrrr (in a nice way). Complemented with a great vintage… erm… beer…. erm… or 7.

A great afternoon led to a great evening and into the inevitable grrreat night :o) lots of crap-speak, bonding, larfs and good times. Yay us! Got to bed way later than expected, after the usual bouncing around the lounge, with the added spice of Alex The Helicopter and a fun chapter called Clarks and Lix Fall Into The Telly. <blazing blushing stuff>

Thought I was going to die when I woke up on Sunday morning. Real early. Keeping real still so as not to turn queasy to dry heave (and / or worse). Didn’t help. After fighting for hours I had to leopard crawl to Lix to seek direction on The Strongest Drugs Known To Man Which Clearly Are The Only Thing That Could Save Me Now.

Dunno what them little effervecenty things are, but man oh man – The Bomb. The world stopped spinning, thoughts of solid food (in the distant future of course) didn’t cause shudders and shiverless thoughts of day, outside and bright gave me hope that we might actually make it to the marathon that we’d travelled 11,000kms to see. Happy happy days.

Am so pleased too ‘cos the race vibe was rocking (or maybe that was just me, being noticeably shakier than ever before) and Faye was considerately on time-ish so there wasn’t too much arsing about with all them family and athleticky types. Dry heave returned briefly when a runner in a Borat cozzie passed us. Gave me a new mental image for next time I hear “Jump Around” hahaha.

Sadly, had to hit the road straight after seeing Faye in an effort to automobile, train and plane to the States. Burger King saved my life. had a Number 1 with cheese and bacon, which was a trifle dry. Mental note to self, First World countries don’t give you any condiments unprompted. Suck suck suckedy. <how ungrateful am I>

Got to the airport on time. And was first in the airline queue, which I have never ever had before… would be the one time I didn’t need it! My colleagues (bless ’em) had checked in my suitcase so I sailed through and had time to chill with an ice cold coke.

American Airlines food is superlative. Had a chickeny cheesy pasta-y thingy. And a pizza later for a snack. Actually, if that’s what they serve you gotta wonder about what Italia serve. Mmmmm.

Got in about midnight. Great time to check in ‘cos there are no queues. I also had no strength and no power of speech and the receptionist clearly no training and no logic. So, all in all, it was a worker of a moment, missing only someone to capture it in a moooooovie to make America’s Crankiest Home Videos.

Alrighty, so now that we’ve put the ho into hotel, it’s a good time to take a repose and keep you hanging for the next gripping installment. That and I have to leave for the airport now (or you’re going to continue to get Travelogues cos i’ll never get home!!)

Toodles xxx

Travelogue St Louis 1: Jo’burg – London

April 2008

Sooo… landed in London all safely and stuff. The pilot seemed to know what he was doing (we should really see if his natural talents extend to party-car designated driving) but the food was a bit drek. I think airline food and hospital food have flip-flopped positions on the blah scale, which is crap in context of which I am likely to frequent more (nooo! I meant ‘airlines’ for the pessimists among you).

It’s FREEZING in London and I’ve hence easily figured out what it was I left behind (you know there’s always something). It’s my gloves. You know, as in the category that I already had too much of and still bought another 2 pairs last weekend (under something I like to write-off as duress, but that was clearly somewhere more the off-handed suggestion side of the subtle persuasion spectrum).

Spent the day doing store visits. I’m pleased to tell you (more for my
enjoyment than for your edification) that our stores are waaaay
superior. And consistent. And clean. So always good to have a trump
card up one’s sleeve <bright side: don’t have to fight aforementioned left-at-home gloves to get trumpcard up sleeve> when going to one of these conference thingiemes. Or I might be COMPLETELY biased… which would ruin it for me. So for sake of argument let’s assume i’m right (that should spark a barrage of protest).

Had the world’s best chicken, ham and mushroom pie for late lunch. it was an unusual interpretation on the whole pie thing, with the base being big black mushrooms, then the chicken and ham bit being in a white wine and garlic sauce and the whole lot being topped with a light and flaky pastry cap. Had it with mash…. and an incredulous –
and scathing ‘peasant!’ – look from the waitress when I asked for
onion gravy for the mash. Good thing I stuck to my guns ‘cos it was a truly superlative brown onion gravy and made the mash really be all it could be :o)

Met up with Barry in the evening to have farewell drinks with his workmates. seemingly great bunch of people. Real modern day Londoners <read: few people actually from London, or Britain even. good representation of order proportion South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, Venezuela, Belgium, Scotland, Wales and someone suspected to be from England, but who be can sure since no clue what the accent is like anymore>

A few swift pints later, we took on public transport and bussed our
way over to Faye’s. On best behaviour because of (Faye’s) impending
participation in the London Marathon, we nursed a pint. The pub we
were in had run out of everything we wanted to order for dinner so we beat a hasty retreat, it being 21h40 and most kitchens closing between 21h30 and 22h00. Tried a few spots without success and ended up at a Moroccan spot. Tres pleasant. Had a mezze of all sorts of things (I ordered lots of bits and pieces wildly and freely knowing Barry would ‘sort it out’, despite his protests of not being at all hungry). It was delightful, way too much… and all finished (of course).

After a great night’s sleep, we’re embracing a (whole day early!)
Sloth Sunday (on Saturday), with duvets and fold-out sleeper couches and bacon butties and bad daytime TV and chitchat and larfs. Later we’re going to mission out and lunch with Alex and Robbie (detailed menu review to follow i’m sure hehe), which holds the promise of madness and mayhem.

Congratulations on surviving Travelogue I. Stay tuned for more exciting adventures and misadventures in Travelogue II (to be posted at a time as yet unbeknownst to me). All feedback, commentary and news from home welcomed :o)

Travelogue Canada 4: Wales

WALES

30 October 2009

Arriving in London from my jaunt in Niagara Falls,  I got through the Heathrow experience and to Kings Cross without incident. I was met at Burger King (Rodeo King deal – cheese and bacon burger with onion rings) by RoRo. SO much better a brekkie than the banana muffin that Air Canada thought would suffice!

Then it was off to Barry’s office to dump (ever-increasingly heavy) luggage. Newly liberated, me and RoRo headed to find Faye HQ – Guardian London. Conveniently close + bud with useful gameplan = Camden!

Was heaving! And had changed so much since I was there last (worked out it was 1992 – believe it. Or not) but all for the good – lots of atmosphere and oozing with the under-promise of over-delivering good times! ;o)

First pint in days…

…and then second…

…and then faye arrived.

*giggles, chatter, hysteria, nostalia, giggles, snickersnort, wittybanterwittybanter, giggle, PHOTO!*

Off to next pub. Barry got off work early, but had the dreaded lurgy so it was a tea for him 🙁

We needed to head back towards the office to outrun London peak traffic to collect (dreadedstartingtohatethecommitment) luggage. Traversed the city effortlessly to deposit selves at Ruby’s. So very the first people there. Was a bit ‘eurotrip’ as the next 2 hours disappeared on fast forward and people filled every conceivable space around us.

Then it was off to Kings Cross and Paddington to get on the train to Wales (picking up BK en route, Bacon Caesar Angus burgers of cheese, bacon, onion straws and Caesar sauce + spicy jalapenos and chewy cheese encased in a crunchy batter).

The train was heaving. We got really lucky finding a table for 2 in First Class (and no conductor so not having to pay upgrade!) seeing as there were people IN FIRST CLASS who stood 2/3 of the 3 hours journey! Passed the time with ‘Spite and Malice’ (our favourite card game). Was 5-1 down at one point, but we ‘agreed’ to call it quits when clambered back to 5-5 position.

Quick power-snooze… and we were there. Swansea.

Interesting locals. Very slapperish uberhighheelpelmetskirts types. Waited for John (Moir) and headed for ‘home’. Couldn’t see much seeing as it was about midnight, but happy to get to <the unpronounceable=”” town=””> and the lovely warm home where we could start our Wicked Weekend in Wales adventure :o)

Did the usual slumber-party, catch-up stuff and then had the greatest night’s sleep in as long as I can remember (YAY). To wake up on Halloween…

SATURDAY

The day started as every day should – was woken with a “don’t ask questions, just follow me” (Barry)… and was led to the kitchen where a full fry-up was waiting! Even though it was a heart-stoppingly early 09h30 (which is super-early considering sleep depro the night before and that night’s extended slumber party antics with me and JM giggling like schoolgirls til 3 in the morning) was still an XL YAY! :o)

All fuelled and ready for action, we headed off to town to do the last minute shopping for Halloween, namely costume accessories, pumpkins and a few odds and sods for our dinner feast. Mission accomplished, we retired to McD’s for a hearty lunch of a Big Tasty With Bacon (100% Beef patty, streaky bacon, a slice of cheese made from Emmental, onion, juicy tomato, crisp lettuce and Big Tasty sauce – which is sort of like a smoked version of the sauce on the Big Mac – in a sesame seed bun) with POTATO WEDGES with sour cream and chive dip! Total awesomeness! McFlurry’s for pudding – with Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Caramels oooo!

Spent the afternoon around the kitchen table, laughing, giggling, catching up, dying hair, making jack-o-lanterns, decorating the house (with orange spray paint and stencils, plastic bats, fake cobwebs and plastic tombstones) and generally having a grand old time.

Was the usual rush to get ready, even though we’d had the whole afternoon to do it. It was all a hubbub of getting costumes on (me Morticia, Emm Vampira, Barry a Vampire, John the Templar Knight), applying facepaint for each other, smearing eyeshadow all over the show and (the other 3) putting in wicked costume contact lenses. We were supposed to be out at 5, we eventually left about 5.40. Oops.

So, we get to the party the better part of an hour late. And we’re the only grown-ups in costume!! The guy Emm works with that had invited us to the party had told Emm everyone dresses up, omitting that he meant all the CHILDREN dress up! We felt a bit arse… but was all part of the fun in the end (and the party came to a rather abrupt end about 20 minutes later when, after a short fire-dancing and fireworks display, everyone just packed up and left). The never-say-die people we are, we just adjourned to the pub (The Greyhound, B&E’s local).

2 pints and 2 tequilas down – having been treated to a class joke (John was in a Knight’s Templar outfit, so one of the locals saw the Maltese Cross insignia emblazoned on the cape and said “how do you make a maltese cross? poke him”. It was funnier when john caught it about 10 minutes later than it was when the local told it though! teehee), watched the kids breakdance, done a modelling shoot in the bathroom using the hand-drier for effect – we headed for home to get us fed and Griff to bed.

Sumptuous dinner of steak tartare and raw salmon (let me hear you say ‘es ki mo’ – see previous travelogue), nachos and sour cream – all washed down with delightful red and to the dulcet beat Shnee Wurt Schnit Shnee Wizey Wize (yes THE SWSSWW that B had been looking for for over half a lifetime!! … which Emm also loved in the day… and which I never would have guessed was the song it turned out to be, which I recognise but would never have fitted Barry’s fantasy lyrics to!) – and it was bedtime for B&E and back to the pub for J and me.

By the time we got back (about 10 maybe), the pub was more festive and there were at least a few more people in costume. One such being an ‘attractive blonde girl’ that John spotted across the bar and thought had potential, what with her lithe frame and shortshort hotpants… until we got closer and saw the Adam’s apple and hairy legs through ‘her’ stockings. We’re still not convinced it was a Halloween costume. There were also a fair number of slapper type chicks that I could have sworn were fancy-dressed as pumpkins, but I’m told the tanning salon craze has hit here in a big way. It’s crazy, they’re all orange. Orangeorange. Like nowhere near natural tan colour. And not – soso very not – attractive.

We made quite an impression on the barman seeing as we ordered tequilas with every round, which is a rarity in these parts apparently. He started pouring us half tots since their standard tot glasses are doubles, until John goaded him into giving us full tot glasses (still at singles prices). Eventually the poor man was just pouring for us freehand into halfpint glasses… and having one himself! Funfunfun.

We calculated 8 pints (and who knows how much tequila seeing as there was no standard measure), which would explain why the details of the walk home (yes, I said WALK home) are a little blurry. We must, however, have decided quite spur of the moment to leave for home seeing as we both brought our glasses home and there was still a considerable amount in them in the morning. Hmmm…

SUNDAY

In the morning B&E had to mission in to town as there had been a little mishap with Griff spilling water on the TV, killing it dead. while they went to get a new one, me and John walked (yes, there’s that word again) to the corner store (called the Red Shop by Emm, have yet to ask why) where I found some of life’s simple pleasures and some great mysteries:
– Pringles cheese and onion
– Aero instant hot chocolate sachets
– thick slice bread
– mince with onions and gravy in a can
– All Day Breakfast in a can: sausage, bacon, egg nuggets (intriguing), beans in tomato sauce, cereal (WTF?!) and chopped pork (if it’s not sausage or bacon then what is it?!)

Humour restored, I dutifully watched John make omelettes (well sort of, was tres busy with uploading pics from the previous night) with cheese, ham, onion and bacon. genius, pure genius!

Spent the rest of the day much like the day before, just enjoying the pleasure of each others’ company. We had some really classic moments too. Like when John was making comment about my growing mound of clothing starting to impede access to our room and said that we could never live together, expressing very matter-of-factly, with much gusto that he ‘really likes an anal cleaner’. Of course, I had no choice but to reply with ‘why? does your anus get THAT dirty?’ … the whole episode cuing all sorts of offers from Barry for his plunger to sort out Emma’s plumbing in the tradesman’s entrance etc etc etc. Hearty guffaws all round and we’ve replayed the joke every which way all day and it’s still as funny as the first time. We’ve had a very non-PC day, but sososo much fun!

Tried to get some salt marsh Lamb on the way to drop John off at the station, but alas we were too late and the shop had shut. Sad to see John off, but not too terrible as he was due home for a visit in a few weeks so it was a literal ‘bye for now’.

Back to the kitchen table, Hobgoblins for me, a bottle of red for Emm, superlative company for Barry, a wheel of Camembert with water biscuits (which are completely tasteless but I’m told take more calories to chew than the calories you take in by eating them), ham sarmies (with real butter and mayo) and more chatchatchatlaughlaughlaugh (and some teeter-tottering around in Emm’s oh-so-beautiful-but-the-most-ridiculously-uncomfortable-shoes-EVER-made super-too-high-and-then-some emerald green sequined heels).

Am loving these peeps and every minute here!! :o)

MONDAY

I thoroughly enjoyed my time in the bustling metropolis of Llanrhidian. B&E (and mom and Griffin) were in a house literally right next door to the school, so it was super-convenient and meant the mornings were quite a relaxed affair seeing as school only starts at 09h00 and it’s a 25 second walk.

We went past their new house as well. It’s in a (yes, hard to believe) SMALLER village than this one, called Landimore. There are no road names (not a biggie since there are essentially only 2 roads) so the houses don’t have numbers they have names. B&E’s new house is called The Cottage. If you ever want to rediscover the lost art of letter-writing then you can reach them on:
The Cottage
Landimore
Wales
SA31HD

Easypeasy just like that. :o)

We’d set off on a mission to go and secure some salt marsh lamb for SCM and to take to the Londoners, but the people at Weobly Castle felt it wasn’t a work day so there was nobody there, nor answering to the numbers posted on the door. Never fear though, this is sheep territory so we just got details for a butcher in the neighbouring town and set out on a mission to find said demigod. We bought the most spankable 2kg rolled SML londres, cubes for the lamb stew for SCM and some delightful sirloin as a bonus round.

Then we decided to drive into the country (about 7.5 minutes in any direction) for lunch at The King Arthur, so named because it’s right by Arthur’s Stone, which legend says started off as a pebble in King Arthur’s boot that was irritating him and as he was such a great man, he pulled off his boot while riding to shake loose the stone. The stone rolled down the hill and became a massive boulder. Which is now perched all alone atop a little hill (he was THAT great that the stone rolled uphill, nogal) and makes a good landmark on the horizon, if not a very ‘I have a vivid imagination I’m not afraid to use’ story. (And a great place to get engaged – this was the spot that B&E did ring swap and the official official thing).

The pub is a super-traditional one that must have been operating forever and a day, with all the usual pub fare you’d expect (like steak and mushroom pies with mega puff pastry caps) and some unusuals (for me). We shared the chicken wrapped in bacon with cheese and leek sauce and mash and a wild boar steak with cider and apple sauce and homebrew chips. YUM. All washed down with usual pint of Carling. I cpuld see why this was often said to be one of the Top 10 pubs in Britain.

All fed, cooking done and housework down (am definitely bringing Martha next time) we set about to practice our sloth. Had to rest up for the Wig Party! Emm had bought us wigs for our Halloween costumes, but typically, they arrived 2 days too late…. so we used them for a global Outies SCM theme dinner instead. Was very weird having a Skype webcam conv with the 3 of us here and the usual suspects at my house over there. It also seemed a trifle unsettling for Mick and Mal who didn’t seem to understand where my voice was coming from. Was marvy to catchup with everyone again tho. Methinks this might have to be a regular calendar event! The lamb stew was great tho, served with garlic bruscetta with melted feta.

Emm’s mom also got back from Costa Rica the day before so there was much joviality (not at all because of the champagne, red wine, beers and jagermeister) and some exotic dancing in the kitchen. We were clearly not as merry as the other night tho seeing as we weren’t even tempted to try walking in Emm’s ohsoprettybutnevergonnawearthem green sequined heels. We did find other uses for them tho – you know hat, earrings, guns, the usual…

TUESDAY

We were off to catch the train to london – for a (bound to be) merry reunion with Faye, Lix and RoRoRo (I gave him my middle name so he gets a bonus ‘Ro’. I’m not taking ‘Birkmyre’ tho!)